“true or false Purple Jesus is paying back his fine in fish?”This is in reference to Purple Jesus’ speeding ticket he got recently. I had mentioned at the time to Gimp that I think it would be very short sighted to have PJ simply offer fish to people as his fine payment. What he really should be doing is community service with Minneapolis youth where he takes them to one of our TEN THOUSAND lakes and teaches them how to fish. Because if you feed a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime. THAT SHIT IS DEEP. From abecketsolem:
“who would you draft to the Vikes QB of the future? You can't say Tavaris.”I like that question. And naturally I wouldn’t be saying TarVar anyway. I hope the Vikings nab a QB in the 2010 draft, to be honest. It’s primed with talent that people may be sleeping on for some reason or another, and your set (potentially) with a viable alternative for a year or two in either Favre or Rosenfail. My eye for a QB to draft would be Tim Tebo … haha! Just kidding. I can’t even say that with a straight face. I think either Big XII guy, Colt McCoy and his dick face, or Sam Bradford from Oklahoma, could potentially work in this offense. I don’t know how strong either one of their arms are (I’m not Shawn Zobel here), but both have been prolific passers and pretty accurate throughout their college careers. McCoy is probably too short and not strong enough, but taking a chance on him late? Sure, why not. Bradford seems like a prototypical NFL passer though, and he’s cool as Billy D Williams. They gotta draft someone though this year or I’m going to burn down a banana stand. From peter:
“since the Vikings are purple and gold, who’s going to be the gold guy? purple jesus + golden mullet?”I like that suggestion. Sooner than later the et is going to take on mythical powers like Samson’s hair. In fact, I think there’s already been allusions to this. I’m not well versed in the kid lingo either, but isn’t there some golden reference to weed out there? It seems like Percy would make a good golden reference somehow. Or Squid could be called the Golden Retriever. Either one is something we could build on. From Scott comes our first video submission! [clearspring_widget title="The Body Issue: The Making Of (Athletes Speak) - ESPN Video" wid="4ac0e59c8be3e737" pid="4b227e2542cea896" width="384" height="216" domain="widgets.espn.go.com"] One legged nude people work for me! Woohoo! Thanks for everyone submitting. I am noticing several that come in at the last moment kind of, which is totally ok, but I’ll just get to them next go around. Thanks again! Need to do some Christmas shopping still? You slacking piece of diarrhea! You have yet to purchase all of your Christmas gifts for family members that you either have suppressed sexual urges for or ones that used to beat the shit out of you when you’d “play wrestle”? How thoughtful. Well, if you need any last minute ideas I will say that you can peruse the PJD Merchandise shop for all of your needs. This is also an update to let you know that currently this shop is on its last leg. Any of the items you see here are bound to be considered vintage in about a month or so, as PJD will be bringing you a whole slew of poorly made items! Well … not poorly made. The t-shirt material is actually really nice and the shirts are well done. I have one and it’s slowly becoming a favorite shirt item, once it’s been broken in a little bit. But there will be new designs that won’t look as juvenile as the ones you see there. Juvenile still, but less than. Never mind. So I’d consider picking one of these items up before they all go away! And in the future, we may be moving from here over to Zazzle as well, or some other place, where we could whore ourselves out to something bigger and better. PJD coffee cups, PJD lunch pails, PJD mouse pads, and even a PJD FLAMETHROWER!!!!! The kids always love that one. So keep an eye out for new items. Maybe you’ll get some cash money from the parents you spite over the holidays. GIVE ME MORE MONEY, MOM! If so, spend it on us. They are called the “Ben-gals”, right? I applaud the Bengals team for actually having cheerleaders as part of their organization. I would have pinned any team from Ohio as having overlooked this need and instead have animal sidekicks as crowd motivators. Actually, if the Bengals had a Bengal tiger on the sidelines that would be fucking awesome. I also applaud the team for approving such skimpy outfits for the ladies to wear. But again, I have to ask, is this another situation where the ladies cheering for this team were imported out of state? There is no possible way that Ohio has any woman of attractiveness at these levels within their state boundaries. In fact, I would argue that all attractive women must come from New York, DC, California, Florida, Texas, Minnesota, Georgia, or Arizona. I don’t know, I just picked those state randomly. BUT OHIO WOULD DEFINITELY NOT FIT! Just my opinion. Nervously made game prediction: Well, I failed miserably on predicting the Cardinals game last week, although, to be fair, I did make note that while I didn’t see the Vikings losing that game that it would be the perfect moment for them to actually lose the game, thus making me look like a cock bag. And so here we are, cock bag and all. For this week I am again of a split mind. I mean, can the Vikings bounce back? Will Favre revert back to his Breesus-like performances? Will Purple Jesus stop being a little school girled bitch and maybe run for more than 75 yards? Will the defense step back up instead of relying solely on Ray Edwards? Can the offensive line hold together or at least not all get injured at once? Lots of questions here, and I don’t have any type of insider knowledge to provide you. My guess? With the Vikings at home and having just come off a pimp slapping, I don’t envision them losing to anyone. Everyone seems pissed on that team, and that’s a good emotion to play with, if it’s controlled. However, the Bengals are a good team, no doubt. Sure, they’ve lost to some poor clubs this year (Raiders, Houston) but the Vikings also got beat by a 6-7 Steelers squad. So who fucking knows. It’s going to be close, and I think Ocho is going to get to blow that Viking horn. In fact, I’m just saying that because I want to see it happen. When it’s all said and done though, I think Childress reigns Favre back in, keeps it on the ground, keeps the Bengals offense off the field, and secures a sloppy 24-17 win. Enjoy the game everyone. Remember to submit your entries for the injury report contest by game’s end and keep making funny Twitter comments during the game for the Tweets o’ the Game feature on Monday’s game recap! Now let’s go drink finally! Hurray!