Everyone’s favorite Minnesota Vikings draft bust, TarVar Jackson tried to speak on the radio a couple of days ago. I didn’t hear it, so I don’t really know how effective it was. Some people said it was like listening to a Canadian while underwater. I think that means he speak bad durrr (like me). Whatever. Someone was able to decipher what he said, and if I’m not mistaken, I think we’ve translated it pretty well below... Here is what TarVar was quoted as saying:
"You have to think everything through and think of different scenarios and just try to be ready for anything because you never really know what [coaches and front office people] are thinking. Honestly, it crossed my mind and I’ve wanted change, but change is not always good. The grass is not always greener on the other side. The Vikings are all I know right now and I’m just trying to do my best around here.”And here is what I think he really meant, based off of hieroglyphic and star alignment translation where the true meaning won’t be known until December 12, 2012:
“I told my agent to call every single fucking team in the league to get me out of here, including the Raiders, and every single team shot back and said ‘go fuck yourself, Mr. Deer in Headlights’. I couldn’t believe what those front office people were thinking. Charlie Whitehurst is better than me? What a fucking let down. So, yeah, it crossed my mind to try and get out of dodge, maybe go some place warm finally (I think it’s supposed to snow in Minnesota this weekend … it’s fucking May!), but sometimes no one else wants you. So I told my agent, ‘you know what, I’m fucked regardless. Since I’m not a quarterback it doesn’t matter if I don’t play here or don’t play somewhere else. Let’s ride this thing out and collect a check’. He agreed, and so now I’m just trying to do my best around here.”That seems way more accurate.