Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the Star Tribune getting sold to the city of Minneapolis for defaulting on payments, rent, or generally not making any money? I mean, newspapers are clearly going out of business because successful blogs like PJD are taking over the world, correct? And didn't the lead Vikings writers (Judd Zulgad and Chip Scoggins) for the newspaper recently find jobs on the radio? Doesn't all of this add up to the Star Tribune meaning a whole lot of fucking nothing?
The answer, if your too busy finding your pee-hole with your pinky, is yes, the Star Tribune is a waste of valuable internet space, and the trees they kill for their print editions can NEVER be born again. THINK ABOUT IT. This also means that if they start featuring sweaty armpit kids like Shawn Zobel to talk Vikings that you know they're just trying to fill space. Unfortunately, they lost all credibility by doing just so. Fortunately, we now get to make fun of our favorite Jew-fro'ed jock sniffer.
Here are some key Q&As between ... whatever lazy asshole decided to interview him ... and Shawn Zobel, FUCKING EXPERT DRAFT ANALYST!
What the fuck. This asshole is high as John David Booty. Let's all remember this retarded statement when Tyron Smith goes undrafted and the Vikings maneuver to select Cam Newton. But wait! Listen to the rest of this brilliant analysis!
Oh shit, bitch, my boxers be getting all hard and shit because you be droppin' that football knowledge, son! Except ... wait ... the Vikings should trade up in the second to get a quarterback .... but they don't actually have the assets to do so because they don't have a third round pick .... but it's stil highly suggested they make these magical moves to get a QB. Get Dumbledore on the phone, Frazier, we're about to pull the wool over everyone's eyes! Shit, this is the exact some nonsense I've been writing for months now, and I spend more time masturbating into Styrofoam cups than this clitoris spends watching 20 year old men run around with their shirts off. Fucking buy my draft preview mag! They may all be a bust! Or maybe not!
If you don't know Shawn Zobel, you just got a little taste of that choad licker. The most important thing you need to know is that, after spending YEARS pimping himself to a 3 inch chub about how his mock draft has bested Mel Kiper and Todd McShay (big fucking deal with McShay ... a retarded autistic cancer patient could predict a draft better), he got caught red handed cheating on his mock drafts. Infamous Rube Chatters over on the KFAN message boards found blog posts time stamped with his FINAL MOCK DRAFT! .... about a half hour after the draft had already begun. It was amazing how he got those first handful of picks right ... And now he thinks he's a draft expert. Instead, he's a cock muffin who goes to Saint Thomas on his parents dollar and likes to quote famous athletes like Bryant McKinnie in saying "the doubters only make me stronger, yo." No, the doubters go on to Urban Dictionary and create entries based on every fucking mistake you've made in your life. Oh shit, you've been Zobeled!
How about just stop fucking cheating and we'll call it even. Fucking love Shawn Zobel. He always makes me feel better about myself. Anyway, if you want to read more of his queef-core writing, it's out there. You'll probably have to pay for it though, because he's not nearly as cool as PJD is. If you need a good laugh, go check out the comments over on the Trib article, as well. There are some gems like this:
"Judd when are you going to do some actual work and find out what the talk behind the scenes with people in the know? Like people who actually have Vikings connections and NFL connections and not guys who work out of their parents basements?"
I think you need to do something like bi-weekly bashings on Strib writers or maybe weekly Bi-bashings about Strib writers. Either way it would be quite enjoyable. Most of those Fucks are worthless and are FudgePacker biased ie...Judd and Mark Craig. Half of Craig's articles are suck assing up to the Pukers. He has a hardon for McCarthy and I bet he dresses up in drag to jerk off to a pic of McCarthy holding up the Lombardi Trophy. Judd tries to play devils advocate all the while being a Packer in Vikings clothing and proclaiming his "un-named sources". Chip's about the only one that brain farts out occassional blurts of football knowledge and loyalty, only to be succumbed to Judd's Jiz all over his face (get a fucking clue Chip, it's not helping your complexion). And Sid reminds me of an old child molestor who forgot to take his alzheimer's pills. And now this Zobel weasel...CHRIST! The Strib as a whole errr should I say a Hole are a bunch of morons that remove half my posts (which are clean, legit and support the Vikes), all the while letting fucking Packer fan rejects like Snacky, troll the site and get away lambasting our team and fans, and keeping their posts up. A big FUCK YOU STRIB!!!! Yet I still fall victim of reading the lame articles and frustratingly posting my 2 cents worth. I must be some kind of masochist!!! Thank GOD for PJD!!!!