We're bad, but at least we know it! I turned on the old computer machine this morning to look at porn and check my fantasy line-up with about 5 minutes left, when I eventually went on Twitter and saw that the Viking were going to start Tyrell Johnson, something called a Berger, and Asher Allen. I think. It doesn't matter, because when you see that you KNOW that this team is trying to lose. When you end the game with Toby Gerhart as your starting running back as well, then there just isn't any question about it. Despite all of that obnoxiousness, the Vikings still almost came back and won, kind of through two different opportunities, except for Ponder playing with his shirt on and having his expected rookie game of his career. I don't know if I should be excited about that or still kind of upset. After MUCH deliberation and not-caring for about 12 hours, I have decided that the game against the Raiders was probably the best coaching work of Leslie Frazier's young career. He put the team in position to lose, while also getting much-needed experience for people like Ponder, Berger, D'Imperio, and Benny Sapp. Despite playing with a stacked deck, the Vikings still almost won, giving us hope for the future, since that's about all we can look forward to at this point.
In other words? Continue on with your #Blow4Blackmon hashtag!
Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval: It's a touch break for the kid, but Ponder has to get the Mushroom Stamp of Evil Poop this week, really for two reasons. First, he continues to play with his damn shirt on, just never learning his lesson. Do we have to send an email to the equipment manager? Roger Goodell to get a uniform exception? I mean really. Why is this so hard? It would help prevent the sell-out streak being broken too, as I DID notice many empty seats there today. Second, throwing those three interceptions didn't really help either, particularly when you were so close to scoring. On one hand you can easily pass this off as some rookie jitters or whatever else you want to say, and point to his other games as not having this many interceptions or turnovers. And I would want to believe you. But Ponder probably has about four or five passes a game that blow my top when they AREN'T intercepted, so it seems to be more of a trend than anything. On the other sweaty palm, the kid did show some poise in the pocket, understanding of when to scramble, and not being a total shit head like McNabb, so at least he's got that going for him. Now he just can never do that again and we'll be cool.
I will kill you, Raider defender: On to perhaps the most serious issue at hand was the injured ankle suffered by Purple Jesus. It occurred in the second quarter when he had a defender roll up on his ankle slightly, causing it to get trapped underneath some fat asses leg. It didn't actually LOOK that terrible, but what the hell do I know. I bump my toe with an ingrown nail on it against the coffee table and I black out with pain. However, I really thought that Purple Jesus would be coming back in the game. I swear he's had worse injuries than that before and walked back in like a BOSS, only to score 15 more touchdowns. Not on Sunday. And if he's out next week? Or the next two weeks? MAYBE EVEN THE SEASON?! I swear to god I will hunt you down like an Early American dramatized Native American who burns settler camps and skins the the dome off of an ugly white person. DO YOU HEAR ME. You know not what you have done, and will forever burn in hell because of this. Effing cheaters.
2-8 Record Game Notes: Lot's of different news and notes from this game, so let's jump to it:
- The Vikings are now 2-8 for the first time since 1962. That was when the Vikings were two years old as an organization, went 2-11 on the year, and were coached by our friend Ol' Normy Van Brocklin, that racist son of a bitch. Now we got a black guy as our coach. Somehow those things are related, I would wager, and either way, I hate this reality that our team sucks so bad. COACH AND DO STUFF BETTER, GAIS!
- Why does Percy get less than 10 touches a game? That is absolutely criminal. Like robbing a liquor store criminal. Every time he touches the ball, good things happen for the Vikings. Seems like a pretty simple game plan, then, to get him the damn ball.
- You ever notice how we have a tendency to make horrible QBs look like Pro-Bowlers? Yeah, Carson Palmer. What the hell. He is terrible and has cancer.
- Kevin Williams has been having a quietly nice season. He's been PENETRATING into the opposing team's BACKFIELD pretty well this year. He had one sack and three solo tackles today. He also hasn't choked a woman or been arrested for driving drunk, that I can recall, so good for him. He can stay.
- Did you notice the cheerleaders dancing in front of the Army guys on the field? I was impressed with their ability to not JUST stare at them. But what else is supposed to happen? Cheerleaders doing this seems like a trap of some kind and totally unfair. You stare and everyone thinks you're a pig. You don't and everyone knows you want to or even worse, you look gay. Total crap.
- I thought Benny Sapp did ... fine? Is that good enough? I hope he sticks around, even if we DO draft a cornerback in the first round.
- Our offensive line is just ... so ... god dammit, I have never been so mad at a unit on a football team. They are terrible, and most of them look like they're tight-end-size, not offensive linemen. Go figure they're getting blown up like a sex doll. Sucks, bro.
"But Mr. Musgrave,
How can I read your play chart?
It's drawn in crayon."
On the plus side of this debacle? The Vikings are now in place to pick fourth in the 2012 draft. EEeeeeee!!! That might be good enough for Blackmon!! Keep it up, shit heads!
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Shut him down for the season so we can lose all our games and keep him healthy. No need for wear and tear on his body during this shyt season.
Let's just forfeit the rest of our games so PJ doesn't get hurt worse, and there's less wear and tear on our farts.
Oh, and Percy doesn't get 10 touches per game because then we might accidentally win. See, Leslie is smarter than we give him credit for. #Blowing4Blackmon
Kudos to you Mr. PJD for writing an entertaining blog on a team that enjoys a set of balls slamming against their chin. And I don't think they even care. Ponder had his rookie game but was still fun to watch. Percy, damn he's good. But pretty much everybody else? Not saying there isn't more talent on the team it's just that it seems to me that half the guys have already checked out until next year. Even redneck Allen had that "I wish I was in the bush wasting a deer" look on his face. And AP? He'll never stop going hardcore but you gotta know he's pissed. Which now leads me to... Frazier.
What's funny is that I really liked him as a coordinator. I always thought we'd lose him when he would interview for a head coaching job. I'm seeing now what others teams saw in him. His inability to lead. He's taking decent players and making them worse, where a good head coach would make decent players better. The team's game plan week to week looks childish (great haiku by the way). And we are so out-coached it really is laughable. It's obvious that he has lost the team. Was Singletary a one year and done coach or was he there for two? I'd check myself right now but since I'm home alone I got about 15 tabs open to all types of porn. Everything from black to white to Asian and of course some PuertoRicanTeens.com. Whew, gonna have do some laundry tonight.
Obvisously this game was not being shown on any of the channels I have so I didn't get to watch the game.
I totally agree about Percy & ehco the idea of a Percy Percentage. He is our 2nd best offensive weapon. When PJ went out of the game why would we put in a white running back. Put Percy in the backfield. GEEEEEEEZ.
I personal was hoping for a Raiders win as this game was cruical in our quest of #blowing4blackmon. We now go to Atlanta which should be a loss, then at home vs. Jesus.. I mean Tebow. Here is hoping that we can't stop the read-option (ugh it is awful to watch). Then go to Detroit & have Big Titty Stafford dom us. At home vs. the Saints should bring a loss. Hopefully going to Washington can be a loss. Honestly worried about the Bears coming here if that Cunt Cutler thumb holds him out of playing; luckily I think a back up QB can beat us.
Remember the "randy ratio?" Frazier needs to implement the "percy percentage"... Next year. #blow4blackmon
This team is just bad. Such a lack of talent at so many positions. You guys know I'm a rube for Frazier so I can't even place too much blame on him until he gets players that can do something. Could any other team find a way to lose when the other team practically hands you the game and 117 yards via penalty? Maybe the Colts, but even they might find some type of competence to eke out a win.
Even when they do something right (like recognize it should be third down and not fourth, hey look, they can count!) it comes as a result of something bad (Jenkins hold negating Harvin's touchdown).
When Purple Jesus goes out and your best rusher is the quarterback who has no time to throw, can't trust your white running back to adequately fill in, AND Kluwe is making errors there's no hope left. Good thing we had none to start with.
Nice to see Kevin Williams get a sack, I think Sapp actually tackled people, not sure, I forgot what that looks like.
The stupidity extended into the stands as well, so lastly a big fuck you to the fans doing the wave while Darrius Heyward-Bey was down for 10 minutes while being tended to by medical staff and carted off the field!
@CollegeWolf That's an interesting point. We actually need Leslie around to lose. So he is helping the team. Hmmm. Now if we could get him to put McFatty back in I might take back some of the bad things I said about him.
@honkeylips hahaha your comments always crack me up. That is all.
@MikeFromWinnipeg My only concern with putting Percy in the backfield too much is his size. He's small, and although he's been playing through injury, let's face it, the guy is not built to take a beating the way AP can. But totally agree they need to utilize him more. I hope he is healthy at some point this season.
@MikeFromWinnipeg I'm liking our #Blowing4Blackmon chances. If all goes well and we get some lucky (unlucky?) bounces, we could easily finish with two or three wins. If we have the second or third worst record, he could easily be ours. No way the Colts take Blackmon #1 overall, so I'm really loving our chances.
Rest up PJ and hope Ponder learns some stuff while playing like the rookie he is. We just gotta hope Kluwe doesn't do anything amazing to accidentally win us any games.
@Qommie It's the Frazier - 80's Bears thing that got you is that right Qommie? Well, that was a good team so I can't argue with that. Are you maybe just wanting to push him in front of a train just a little bit yet though?
@Qommie Frazier is done getting a pass by me. He's got at least half of the same people on defense (or upgrades in comparison to 2007-2009, believe it or not) when this defense was demolishing people. That's a coaching issue. Ray Edwards' didn't ruin this team. Losing Madieu Williams didn't make our safeties suck more. It's coaching. Get it fucking done.
@CollegeWolf Kluwe truely is the X factor in this equation.
@PJD I think coaching is an issue, I'm just not ready to put it all on coaching the way some people are doing (not you). I do blame Leslie for McNabb, which never should have happened.
Picking up new talent/signing the right talent is an issue (Remi Aoydele??). I know it won't happen, but Spielman needs to go and Zygi should bring in a GM. Our players suck, and the guys who were good 3 or 4 years ago are now 3 or 4 years older. In a normal job that shouldn't matter, but that's a lot of wear and tear for a lineman.
@PJD Thank you, well said. C'mon Leslie. Next year with Blackmon will be put up or shut up time.
@PJD@Qommie You can only clean house so much... we still have a roster full of smegs. Adding McFatty was not the solution. We should have rocked Ponder day 1 like teams that draft QB round 1 (Falcons, Jets, Ravens, Lions, etc.). If you take a QB 1st round it is because you suck. Might as well see what he can do. But we miss alot of pieces. We need Blackmon & some solid Fatties on the line (can Donavon play guard?). I see us being at least a year or 2 away from even having a shot in our divison. Problem is we lose some years on PJ, Jared, kWilliams, Percy, Kluwe, etc. Here is hping that the Packers can't afford to keep all their players in the coming years.
@MikeFromWinnipeg Damn right. Not his fault he's so amazing.
@PJD You know how people have write-ins to save a TV show....I wonder if we could have one to get rid of the shirts? It's the most glaring problem and nothing is being done about it!
@Qommie Yeah, Spielman is a total dick. He's treading Matt Millen territory with how terrible his draft picks are. We need a real GM on this team like Ponder needs to wear less shirts.