Welp, now the internet has produced this ...
I'm not sure how I feel about posting this for you all to read, but I'd also be lying if I said I didn't read through this whole thing and hurt my abdomen by laughing so hard. Finally, I think my erotic tears have just dried. Anyway, yes, there is some Aaron Rodgers and Alex Smith Erotic Fan Fiction out there, courtesy of a Redditor who lost a bet. As With Leather reported ever so diligently, the commentor named americanslang59 promised to write the quarterbacks erotic fan fiction if the Packers lost to the 49ers on Sunday, which they did, 30-22. And while you may have felt pleasure in watching the Packers lose that game, I'm not sure what pleasure anyone finds in this (except for me, because I am messed up in the head, and only a little gay for certain dudes on the side, PAUL RUDD).
As the clock winded down, Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers knew they were in trouble. Alas, the clock struck 0 and Packers were served their first loss of the season at the hands of Alex Smith and the San Francisco 49ers. The cameras rushed on the field to interview players. As ESPN's cameras ran towards Aaron Rodgers, they caught him shaking the hand of the joyous Alex Smith. "Congrats!" said Aaron as their eyes locked. Smith pulled Rodgers in closer. "You played well." Smith whispered.
Wow. More? I guess? If you can bear it? After the jump.
I'd like to say that this story is totally unbelievable about Aaron Rodgers, but, you know, it's not. I kind of actually believe this happened:
Aaron walked into the steamy locker room and began to undress. His gigantic dong flopped out of his uniform. A thundering bang was heard when it slapped against his leg. He hopped in the shower and began to cleanse himself of sweat and dirt. After his shower, he put on his normal attire: Boxers, shorts and a t-shirt.
Aaron said his goodbyes to team mates and coaches and walked to his car. As he approached his car, he began to feel very odd. He looked around and saw nobody but felt as if he was being watched. As he continued to walk, something was not right. As he approached his car, a hand wrapped around his mouth and said, "Don't make a sound." As he began to panic, the hand pulled away and Aaron could hear laughter. Alex Smith was on the ground laughing. Aaron looked shocked. "Alex, you asshole!" He then playfully slapped Alex. "Sorry, I couldn't help it!" The two embraced each other and began to kiss slowly. Alex whispered, "I'm sorry that I beat your ass on the field and now I am going to beat your ass in your backseat."
Ahahahaha, oh god, THE TEARS!! I'm laughing so hard, oh my god ... "Now I am going to beat your ass in the backseat." Classic line!
I can't finish the story here, because a tale as rich as this deserves to have you go to it's source and see it all for it's glory. Glory HOLE, if you prefer. Head over to the Reddit thread to read the rest, which is VERY NSFW. But really, this is hilarious, and I'm jealous that this guy came up with the idea to do this ridiculousness first. I could, however, move on to Shirtless Vikings Erotic Fan Fiction pretty easily here. Then, just watch as the 50 Shades of Grey crowd comes pouring in and, BOOM!, page views!
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I find it very appropriate that some smooth jazz just came on my Slacker radio station right after reading that last line
@CollegeWolf Stop getting so aroused, OK?