Alright y'all, who's excited for this mouth bashing today?! The San Francisco 49ers are coming to town to face the Minnesota Vikings, and if the past two weeks with how the 49ers have handled the rest of the NFC North are any indication, we're in for losing a couple teeth and browning our pants today. Excited?! Me neither! That's why I won't actually be participating in this Purple Jesus Diaries Game Thread today. I'm driving back from out of state, but through the magic of SCIENCE (it's actually just computers, and time stamping, but whatever), I am able to present you with this amazing thread on time and in tune.
So come, my friends, air your grievances, gnash your teeth (or gums, or whatever is remaining after this intestinal reaming), and join your fellow purple friends and wishing we would have beaten the hell out of those Colts last week so we could finish out the day 2-1 instead of the inevitable 1-2. Unless .... Can Ponder capture some Favre magic? Can Aromoshadu call upon his inner Greg Lewis? Will Jared Allen remember what it's like to sack someone?! .... Uhhh ... No, no to all of the above. None of those things will happen, but, hey, remember when we were 1-0? I kind of do. That was fun.
Enjoy ... the game? Folks? I'll be listening to Paul Allen in the car, so pray for my soul, please.
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I was way off on this one. But then I saw the Cardinals were 3-0 on the year and I realized even crappy teams can win ones they aren't supposed to at least once during the season.
WOW Ponder just got the Gieco Play of the Day with his 23 yd scramble for a TD!!! ???Vikings being mentioned for good plays instead of the asshole end of some other team's fortune????? I need another drink...and another...and ANOTHER!!! I know this has to be a conspiracy against us Vikings fans to trick us into thinking there is hope...yet again!!!
Since I am the only one in here, I will give myself a recap......Well Hey, Hey, Hey....What do you say?? Ragnar must've laced the 49ers Kool-aid with some LSD cuz they played like our psychodelic Vikings of last year? Apparently the replacement refs took a few drinks too. And outside of the Albino Rhino mistaking Loadholt's tub of butter for stickem, I didn't see any real fucktards out there today, at least in purple...well except for some assinine special teams play but they almost made me forget about that with a blocked FG. Ponder methodically looked good with probably his best complete game as a Viking...Harvin was definitely NO MERCY PERCY...,Rudolph definitely guided our sleigh today while reeling in two short TDs, one of them while in a swordfight (penis joke) with the defender. Purple Jesus may have had a below average day but held his own. And the Defense...YES we had a Fuckin decent Defense, they played more like the 69ers (whoops Freudian slip) were supposed to play. A rookie had a sweet interception which Asher Allen would've alligator armed, two white boys dominated tackles in Greenway and Harry Smith, and even JA & Robe finished it off with a sack, forced fumble recovery!!!......SIGH....My fear is I am going to wake up and this was all a dream. or I had too much of this bitchin' Burnett's Maple Syrup flavored Vodka!!!! If it is a dream, at least please conjure up Cheryl "the Purple MILF" Kalil giving me a striptease lapdance to make it worthwhile :D
@the4norsemen Thanks for that.
@the4norsemen Would be the lap dance to end all lap dances.
@the4norsemen And we did all of this with Ponder FULLY CLOTHED!!! Good thing Toby Rhino pulled that 4th quarter clutch running or we would have been really screwed, imagine if San Fran used ALL 5 of their second half timeouts!!!! They let us off the hook and we should be grateful. Maybe we bribed them pre-game, with shirtless pics or just straight cash home(SEE WHAT I DID THERE). Anyways ill wear purple all week in honor of our big upset of 2012, god knows when we'll have another. (never)