If he doesn't, then why is he appearing on a box of WHEATIES?! You know that gluten is found primarily in malt substances, grains, and other combining compounds, which is pretty much ALL of what Wheaties are! Hence the name. So is he just bragging to people who are gluten free by appearing on a box of Wheaties? Is he just saying, "Hey, sucker, check this out, I'm eating a Punch pizza and not dying from it, THIS IS DELICIOUS!!"
Because if so, damn ... That's pretty cold hearted.
Of course ... There is MAYBE a slight chance ... Ever so small ... That Adrian Peterson is appeasing on the cover of a Wheaties box because he is the reigning league MVP, and Wheaties generally wants kick ass athletes to adorn their cover so they can sell boxes of their sugar grains to impressionable young kids. I mean, who can fault them, it's a pretty brilliant marketing strategy. And if we're being honest, there is NO WAY that that marketing strategy is only intended for children. I can think of a handful of women who are going to buy this box of cereal, throw away the cereal, laminate the cover, and dry hump it into a wet pulp. Maybe a couple of guys too.
I guess if I had to choose between these two options - If Adrian Peterson hates people who suffer from gluten allergies or if he is just a super, amazing, popular mega star that General Mills wanted to have grace the cover of their cereal box to sell more cereal - I'd probably go with the latter. But just barely.
Also, this means Peterson will be on a Wheaties box as well as a Madden video game cover, in the same year. Up next - PLAYGIRL?! Cross your fingers, ladies!
Bigger picture, with bigger muscles, below:
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