The Minnesota Vikings opened up their mandatory Organized Team Activities yesterday, and BOY! Was there a TON of real, interesting, team defining football news that came out of that event that we will DEFINITELY be covering. But, since there were just SO many juicy morsels, we have to prioritize what exactly we cover, and so that's why today we're showing you new Vikings punter Jeff Locke holding a football in different places around the Winter Park facilities.
What's the take away from this? Well, Vikings punter Jeff Locke likes balls, obviously. And in lots of different spots, too. Also, he's got great form on his holds.
Take for instance the spot of him on the electric scale. That's a tight spot, my friends. It's not easy getting a professional football player to stand on one of those things with room as is. And Locke is able to crouch on it AND hold a football in place? Outstanding.
Then look at him doing the same thing in a laundry hamper. Again, a professional football player fitting into a tiny laundry hamper in the middle of an NFL locker room, AND managing to balance a skinny NFL football on the rim of said basket?! I mean, is he using like 20% of his human brain to figure out the geometry of how to do this? It's just astounding. I mean, Christian Ponder has like four MBAs and I don't see him pull this shit off. Locke can balance a football nose on a quarter inch of wire in a laundry basket, and Ponder can't even throw a pass to the sidelines with a 20 foot window. Advantage? PUNTER.
The other good one is the shower, obviously, because balls and showers and gay sex and the usual type of jokes that would go there.
Anyway, pretty exciting first day of Vikings OTAs. This, of course was the highlight, but runner up was the revelation that all local media members are now using this social video app called Vine to share six second video snippets instead of like 30 second ones on YouTube. It's all the rage, just like MySpace and SloMo Pro. Wave of the future, I tell you.
*EDITS: Updated to properly reflect that JEFF LOCKE likes to hold balls, not Blair Walsh. We regret this awful error, even though it may also be true that Walsh likes to hold balls.
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Your "advantage punter" joke gave me an epiphany. If Ponder sucks this year, we can nickname him Christian Punter. Cause of they gotta punt all the time.
UPDATE: This is apparently new punter Jeff Locke holding balls. Not to say that Blair doesn't like to. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
@peterandkelsey I like it. A lot.
@jakewp11 Updated to not be an asshole and just ASSUME that Walsh likes holding balls. Even if he does, I don't know. Just would hate to assume that, of course.
@jakewp11 Oh son of a bitch, it is.
@CollegeWolf I'd PAY that much money to hold everyone's balls.
@PJD well it's because he's small.. of course you'd assume that. He has no choice but to stare at dudes balls in the shower because it just lines up perfectly