A Totally Reasonable Response to the Percy Harvin Trade
On Monday afternoon, the Minnesota Vikings traded Percy Harvin to the Seattle Seahawks. Thus ended Percy's tumultuous four year stint in Minnesota, and set the Vikings on the path of having only second year receiver Jarius Wright left as a guaranteed contract on the roster at wide receiver.
As a highly valued member of the Minnesota media, I feel it is my responsibility to provide you, dear reader, with an objective, level headed take on this franchise-changing roster move, and so that is exactly what I have done below.
Allow me to collect myself, and ... Here we go:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE WHY WOULD YOU JUST TAKE SOMETHING THAT IS GOOD AND THEM MAKE IT SOMETHING THAT IS BAD I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS IF PERCY HARVIN DEMANDED 15 MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR YOU GIVE THAT TYPE OF MONEY TO HIM WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING ARE YOU THINKING THAT IS PROBABLY THE PROBLEM YOU HAVE RICK SPIELMAN UP THERE SUCKING QUARTERS OUT OF A DONKEY DICK INSTEAD OF CUTTING DEAD WEIGHT DUMB ASSES LIKE TOBY GERHART TO FREE UP CAP SPACE TO RE-SIGN ONE OF THE BEST ALL-PURPOSE THREATS IN THE GAME BUT INSTEAD YOU TRADE HIM TO A TEAM I ALREADY HATE ENOUGH FOR A FIRST ROUND AND SEVENTH ROUND PICK THIS YEAR AND A THIRD NEXT YEAR FIRST OF ALL THAT TRADE IS STUPID WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO IT SEATTLE YOU IDIOTS AND SECOND WHY WOULD YOU TRADE PERCY HARVIN AT ALL ALL HE WAS MAD ABOUT WAS THAT OUR QUARTERBACK SUCKS AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S GOD DAMN RIGHT WE HAD ADRIAN PETERSON RUSHING FOR A BILLION YARDS LAST SEASON AND PONDER COULD NOT EVEN THROW FOR 150 YARDS IN A GAME NO SHIT PERCY IS UPSET I'D BE UPSET TOO AND YOU TRY TO SUGAR COAT A TURD DONUT TO HIM AND SAY IT'LL BE COOL MAN DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT PONDER WILL GET BETTER WELL GUESS WHAT PERCY DIDN'T BUY YOUR STINK LOG AND NEITHER AM I PONDER IS AWFUL YOU'RE AWFUL AND YOUR FRANCHISE IS AWFUL YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF BLEACH DRINKING IDIOTS THAT ARE DRIVING ANY HOPES I HAD FOR THIS TEAM TO NOT SUCK MUD RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW AND YOU'RE KICKING ADRIAN PETERSON IN THE STOMACH WHILE YOU'RE AT IT DO YOU HAVE NO RESPECT YOU SELFISH COCK MONGRELS OR DO YOU JUST LIKE SLEEPING ON YOUR BED OF MONEY THAT FANS GIVE YOU TO SEE AMAZING FOOTBALL TALENT ON THE FIELD LIKE PERCY HARVIN NOT LIKE MCLEOD BETHEL THOMPSON JESUS YOU MORONS.
I hope Peterson requests a trade next. The Vikings deserve it.
(This sucks, but all those draft picks we got? That was a god damn steal. Holy smokes.)
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@tim_sprouls An overreaction, but it's always hard for me to justify trading known commodities for "potential"
@PJDiaries Overreaction was funny, but true. Glad they at least got a first round pick, hopefully it doesn't mean another Troy Williamson.
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I hate that he's leaving too... but I think this was a really smart move by the Vikings (and yes, I hate to admit that). Percy was either going to hold out this season (most likely scenario) or, at best, we'd lose him in free agency for the RFA tender we put on him (probably a 1st round). In this deal, we still got the 1st rounder plus a 7th rounder and a mid-round pick.
I know it sucks to trade him, but I think this will be more like a Sidney Rice kind of move than a Randy Moss (and even Randy Moss looked like a good move for the first couple years after we made it).
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@Lakeville Mikey Yes, it grudgingly was the correct call.
Even the Randy Moss move probably didn't end poorly for us. He sucked in Oakland, had a couple of good years in NE, but by then it was so far removed it was like whatever.
I have half a mind to just sit players bitching about shit and see if they enjoy going without a paycheck for a year and then just let them walk. Would suck for us to lose him without compensation, but I'd love for a team to just drop a big FU on some player.
@PJD I kind of wish teams did that more too. If the Vikings hadn't gotten any decent trade offers for Percy, then I would be totally fine with not giving him an extension, and watching him wrestle with the lack of paychecks from a holdout.
At the very least, it would show the next player who thinks he's god's gift to football that we mean business and that they aren't the special little snowflake they think they are.
@CollegeWolf @PJD @Lakeville I think it was a smart move by the Vikings. Harvin is a great player, but he's not the best player on the team, the best WR in the league or even in the franchise's history. I was surprised Spielman managed to get the draft picks he did. If it had only been about the money, I'd be a little more upset with the Vikings, but there was probably more going on.
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So there I was... week six... 2010... attending what was my first Vikings home game in several years (Vikes Cowboys, Vikes win). I had vowed to the person who was going to the game with me that I was going to break down and buy my first official Vikings Jersey. I told him that I had held off from buying one for all this time because I was sure that I'd spend the money and the player would get traded, or have some catastrophic knee injury or end up banished from the team. So I didn't buy Jesus. I didn't buy Harvin. I went with Moss. It was his first game back and I figured I could safely honor his years of greatness with a jersey.
Harvin took the second half kickoff back 95 yards and I was kicking myself for not having bought the Harvin.
Glad I went with Moss.
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That's about how I initially felt. But then Boldin got traded for a 6th round pick and I wept for Humanity.
@CollegeWolf You mean wept like Natalie Portman.
Realistically, it was a no win situation for the Vikings and they did as best they could given the circumstances. I just hate the idea of trading a known commodity that is fucking AWESOME for "potential." The Timberwolves have had cap space and potential for decades and fucking blow. Sure, the NBA and the NFL are different beasts, but you'll always be hard pressed to sell me on the idea that getting RID of talent is better than adding an unknown.
I liked Percy the player, not the person. Unfortunate that things went sour but I'm excited for the draft.
You are a horriable self claimed Minnesota Vikings media... Percy Harvin has wanted to go for a long time, so get off his dick and SUPPORT YOUR TEAM..... SKOL!!!
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Seattle blows. They're doomed. Percy's gonna tank, Wilson's gonna git figgered out by defenses, and Pete Carrol is going to continue to be a giant asshole that ruins everything he stinks on. What a bucket of bastards.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Harvin. I didn't want the team to draft you in the first place, and then you make me get all 'cited about you before you bitch your way out of town? Never again will I smile at your play.
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@peterandkelsey I do hate me some Seattle. The town is overrated as shit.
Will you admit that you will likely grudgingly nod approval at an awesome move he's bound to make, likely against the Vikings?
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I hate to admit it, but you're right: I probably will. I'm just so mad at him now, I can't picture it. It's like breaking up with a girl. She's the world's greatest villian at first, but a couple years down the road you're at her wedding, genuinely wishing her well but secretly glad that you didn't end up with that pile of problems.
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@peterandkelsey But also kind of wishing you could motorboat her bosom pillow one last time.
@PJDiaries :) In that case I recommend a good strong drink...and watch the FA ticker this afternoon. I believe the Vikes will make a splash
@PJDiaries maybe not a Wallace or a Cruz but sign some good tier 2 FA's and draft a couple of young guns and you never know.
@ManitobaViking We'll see. I think they play it 1 more year close to the vest & make a big splash\/push next season, but who knows.
