A recent blog post by the Sportspickle introduced us to reviews of popular sports stadiums across the country found on Yelp. Yelp is the search engine to get helpful reviews and information on businesses and locations across the country. We decided to use it to look closer at the customer reviews of the Metrodome. I don't know why people find it necessary to review a stadium experience on here, because it's not like you'd have other options of where to see the Vikings play, but here we are. This is what our society has come to. Is everyone happy now?
Regardless, I'm also not stupid. I'm looking for some filler today since the Vikings are slowly waiting to sign Brian Urlacher (probably), which means there's not a ton of team news. And it's the second day of March Madness. I know you're not going to actively be looking for football news, but for the three people who are, here's a fun way to waste your Friday.
Reviews after the jump:
We've highlighted some of our favorite reviews here, and also pointed out some of the best comments. See another one we missed? Drop it in the comments:
So what have we learned about the Metrodome?
- Good luck trying to take a pee. It's the worst place to relieve yourself in the entire Colonies, apparently.
- People once thought Dome Dogs were good. GTFO.
- The worst part about the Metrodome is that you may sometimes spill your beer. Seems legit.
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I can't believe none of the reviewers mentioned the smell!
Here's how to replicate it.
1 - Go in to your garage, grab your oldest/dirtiest garbage can, pour in approximately 1 gallon of tap beer. Chop several onions and add to the beer. Let this sit in the warm garage for a week or so.
2 - After one week, pour a half gallon of Yellow Mustard into the can, stir, let sit for another week.
3 - Each day during this time, each family member including pets should be encouraged to urinate in the can.
4 - Filter brine mix through several pairs of post-workout underwear at least once an hour for several days until they become thoroughly saturated and smell becomes permanent.
5 - Wear gym shorts on face ninja style, inhale deeply, close eyes and imagine Bob Casey saying "Noooooooooooo smokingintheMetrodooooooome"
Flashbacks... love 'em.
One time I left my seat with one minute left in the first half to go to the bathroom and buy a pop. I made it back about halfway through the third quarter. I have to limit fluids before games like a damn child who wets their bed at night. And the nachos are cold 90% of the time. The dome is the worst.
@PJDiaries Ha! Love the dude who also took a swing at Target Field
@Hammy1724 Disgustingly accurate.
@Qommie It's actually impressive that you had the gall to eat the nachos there. I don't think I'd do it. I'm trying to think of any food I would eat at the Dome and am coming up short. Maybe popcorn? Maybe?
@MoChilds Also liked describing the good\/bad dynamic of the Dome as "Sort of like a Mexican standoff." LOL, OK bro.
@PJD I sort of look at it like a flu vaccine. Eat them a couple times a year, and I'm pretty much immune to food poisoning and death if there's a massive viral outbreak.