How about if the NFL went full blown Heavy Metal? *whips out air guitar, rocks out with my sock out*
Today we're reviewing a couple of logo designs by Kimberly Breuer, who redesigned NFL logos to add a little bit of heavy metal flair to them. Things like black eye liner, spikes, death stuff, you know, the usual. As I started looking at these to review, I became a bit confused, in that some of these maybe bleed more into the "punk" or "glam" category rather than straight heavy metal, but who am I to complain. I just sit here and rate other people's hard work like a total butt hole without ever contributing a redesign on my own.
So here are the NFC North logos reviewed, in Heavy Metal style:
We start with the Vikings version, which has several interesting details, not all of which I like. You'll of course notice the tribal tattoos on the helmet, which are awful. Are tribal tattoos even heavy metal? I thought that was Ed Hardy. Also of note is the ear piercing (no thanks), the hung-over baggy eyes (I can related), the metal spiked choker (dominatrix!) and the purple dyed hair braid (So emo!). I can't decide if I hate this or REALLY hate this.
GRADE: D- ... The only reason it isn't an F is because of the work put into it, but this is awful.
Green Bay Packers
Here is the Packers version of a "Heavy Metal" logo. It's .... the Packers' logo. Uh ... I guess it has a chrome sheen to it? And offers some tread details in the background on the green. And maybe it's a bit distressed on the edges, like, "Oh, whoa is me, I've won a Super Bowl before." It kind of sucks, but also kind of looks EXACTLY like the kind of dumb logo Packer fans would love, and then print as a decal for their truck windows.
GRADE: B ... I hate it, which is perfect for the Packers. But I fail to see how this is expressly "Heavy Metal" so it keeps it from a higher grade.
Oh man. A Detroit Lion rocking out on the drums? This logo didn't even need to be touched up that much, which is the beauty of it. Here's what probably happened: 1) Take Lions logo. 2) Scribble in some drum sticks. 3) DONE! It's awesome, and kindly reflects "Detroit Rock City" with it's simplicity. The only way it would've been better is if some kind of cock ring was added.
GRADE: A ... Simple and effective, and who doesn't love air drums?
Is there any particular reason why the Chicago Bears would invoke the idea of "Death" to anyone? I mean ... Maybe to themselves, as they are always shooting themselves in the foot, or killing themselves in some form or another when the playoffs are on the line, but I don't think any team actually FEARS the Bears like people fear death. I guess I kind of like the Bears logo/face emerging from the mask, but that's about it for this one.
GRADE: C ... The face in the hood is kind of fun, but I don't really get a Heavy Metal boner over this.
You can check out all the other logos on the site. Keep an eye out for the Bills and Rams. That one is actually quite clever.
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Hilarity ensues with the Lions logo, love the description. Did you see the Dolphins logo? It looks like a tranny Dolphin wearing lipstick and fishnet stalkings, guess it would be pretty intimidating to see that shit roll onto the field. Reminds me of Buffalo Bob from Joe Dirt, freaky!
@spinmcallister Saw that one. Thought "Rocky Horror" immediately, but then also realized, "Hey, maybe girls want to be heavy metal rockers too" and thought why not the Dolphins?