This weekend there is a big sporting event in North America called the "Super Bowl." It, surprisingly, doesn't have anything to do with bowls of food stuff (and least not directly, anyway), and is an event that remains almost completely foreign to Minnesota Vikings fans. The "Super Bowl"? Sounds like some mythical NFL event that only teams with an ESPN bias are invited to. And we all know how much ESPN hates the Vikings.
Despite Vikings fans having a clear HATE relationship with the Super Bowl, it doesn't mean you don't have any rooting interests. From personal city favoritism, to cheering for your conference representative, former coaches, players, ex-girlfriends that moved to or near a represented city or state, there are PLENTY of reasons to decide to either cheer for or vehemently against one of the two teams this year.
In this case, it's a matter of deciding whether to cheer for the Seattle Seahawks (NFC representative) or the Denver Broncos (AFC representative). To help Vikings fans make a decision, we decided to break down the Super Bowl rosters and look at which teams had former Vikings players on them to maybe influence our decision one way or another. I'll let you take a WILD stab at which way we're leaning here.
First, be aware that we are only looking at players, and players that I am aware of who had a previous Vikings affiliation based on this single tweet, which I am ASSUMING is comprehensive. Second, we are not deciding our final rooting interests by any total number of former Vikings players on any one team, or an aggregate ranking of said players, but rather a simple, biased and unjustifiable decision of whether - in the end - I hate one team or another.
So here we go; Which team should Vikings fans root for in the Super Bowl based on former Vikings players association?
DENVER - CHRIS CLARK
Yeah, no. I have no idea who this guy is. Apparently he's an offensive tackle for the Broncos, no idea if he even starts or not. He was originally an undrafted free agent who signed with the Bucs back in 2008, before getting cut around training camp. Clark then signed with the Vikings and was amazingly on our practice squad for like two years, before we cut him again in 2010. He's been with the Broncos ever since. He also played at Souther Miss, so I guess he's got a Brett Favre connection, which may make him easy for some of you heathens to cheer for? Sure, let's go that angle.
SEATTLE - DERRICK COLEMAN
I certainly don't remember Derrick Coleman ever being on the team (he was another undrafted free agent, a running back who was with the team in preseason 2012). However, Derrick has made lots of noise (no pun intended, honestly) leading up to the Super Bowl because he was a player who became deaf when he was three years old, but still made it to the NFL. He's now invited two other deaf sisters to the Super Bowl, and everyone is crying over this tear jerking Duracell Batteries commercial. Outside of playing for Seattle, that makes Derrick a pretty likeable guy!
SEATTLE - STEVEN HAUSCHKA
Remember when Hauschka played for the Vikings? I don't really either. He was Blair Walsh before Blair Walsh was Blair Walsh, if Blair Walsh was a less talented version of himself who went undrafted. He was signed in 2008 to compete with Longwell before being released and claimed by the Ravens. Hauschka then stuck with the Ravens for a couple of seasons, but most noticeably was with them when he shanked a 44 yard field goal against the Vikings during our dream 2009 season, to help us start 6-0 on the year. THANKS STEVEN! It's hard to cheer against a guy after he's forever known for that.
SEATTLE - HEATH FARWELL
Did you know Heath Farwell is still alive? At least he's a name I recognize, and it's a good recognition, too! Farwell was one of the famous "White Linebackers" on the Vikings, back when Chad Greenway probably still felt comfortable on defense, and was of course a special teams' maven. Farwell was with the Vikings for quite some time, being on the roster from 2005 - 2010. During that time, he was even recognized once as an NFC Pro Bowl Special Team starter, so that's something. Farwell also doesn't seem to be a total butt hole or anything, so it would be easy to cheer for him.
SEATTLE - TARVARIS JACKSON
Holy SHIT, you guys, Tarvaris Jackson may win a Super Bowl ring before Adrian Peterson. I want to both cry and punch faces at the same time over this possibility. However, my dream of cheering for Tarvaris Jackson while he actually PLAYS in a Super Bowl (Like Russell Wilson goes down and TarVar has to jump pass his way to a ring) would be god damn amazing. If that happened, I MIGHT actually cheer for him and Seattle then. That type of disaster may just be worth it.
SEATTLE - PERCY HARVIN
Oh, right, Percy Harvin plays for Seattle, and - after playing like a total of three quarters in the 2013 NFL season - now has a chance to play in the Super Bowl, because his team did all the heavy lifting to get him there. Sounds just like Percy.
Yeah, f*ck the Seahawks. Let's go Broncos.
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My disdain for Percy also runs deep. But don't forget the guy that Percy'd the Vikings before Percy Percyed the Vikings. Sidney "Trick Knee" Rice. Fuck that guy too.
@PJDlady I know. Although seeing one final TarVar jump pass was pretty entertaining.
@spinmcallister Oh yeah, duh. I just figured he was still on IR or something and wasn't "technically" on the roster anymore. Or whatever. Stupid Squid.
@CollegeWolf What are you, and Italian gangster?