Contests You Can\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t Actually Win:

In an unprecedented move for the NFL, it was announced on a blustery cold winter's day in late February that the Super Bowl victory secured by the Minnesota Vikings throughout the 2012 campaign ...

Game Five?! How the hell did this happen already? We're on the fifth game of the season? And the Vikings have a winning record?! That's what really freaks me out. Even if they lose this ...

You know how your mom would always tell you never to trust a frothing pedophile in an unmarked white van promising you candy while playing pocket pool? And yet you did so anyway, and he was a ...

EVERYONE IS DYING: Is it just me or does it feel like every NFL player is dying this season? RGIII has a concussion and couldn't play a full game. Ahmad Bradshaw played like he had trench ...

Red Zone Against the Red Team: I saw a stat today that said - outside of that first game of the season against the woeful Jacksonville Jaguars - Purple Jesus has gone five straight games ...

OK, yes, I know you don't exactly go hunting Cardinals, but we're not playing the Eagles this week either, and those you can DEFINITELY hunt. Especially bald ones, because their eggs taste ...

Yeah, I skipped reviewing week six. Here's what happened: Very Tight Buttholes had a very big win over Victorious Secrets, 97-72 Bring the Weeden pissed all over himself and ...

As has been evident that past five days or so, the last game the Minnesota Vikings played was certainly one for the urinal cakes. They got throttled by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on national television, ...

Back From the Dead or the Walking Dead? I suppose that is the main question for this week. Despite the hot start for the entire team, in recent weeks we've seen the defense start leaking a ...

In a surprise move of the 2012 NFL season, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has finally come to terms with his own body and made a sports-media shattering announcement. He has finally ...

It's HATEHATEHATE Week with the first Vikings/Packers game coming up on Sunday. Surprisingly, there's not actually a large amount of "hate" going around, either from this site, ...

If you ask any Vikings fan, all they want for Christmas is a Vikings playoff push. Unfortunately, they're more likely to get a helmet full of 2009 NFC Championship losses, or the entire 2011 ...

Look at that picture. What a goofy picture. What an odd set up. Why is this even happening right now. What kind of hole was ripped in the space-time continuum that allowed those two wandering ...

Win or Go Home ... Or Really, Win AND We Still Go Home Anyway, Since it's an Away Game: I'll tell you this much ... Without the Vikings winning this Sunday, whatever slim hope they ...

Everything is Bigger in Texas, Like Football Games: You thought I was talking about something else? Like maybe big cowboy hats? Big old Five Gallon head gear, with the brims and sawdust and ...

It was the wildling Ygritte, the lady with the fire burning red hair, who enticed the bastard son of Eddard Stark, Jon Snow, when he was traveling with the free people of the North. As he tried ...

A Game for the History Books: They actually did it. A team that was predicted to finish by most experts at a paltry 3-13 again pulled off the ridiculous and ended up 10-6. They had some poor ...

A couple of weeks ago we did a side-by-side analysis of how former Minnesota Vikings quarterback Tarvaris Jackson and current Vikings QB Christian Ponder had some eerily similar stats throughout ...

So This is Really Happening: The Minnesota Vikings, led by Christian Ponder and playing a couple of rookies in significant spots all year long, swept the month of December (their hardest ...

From Midnight to Six in Thirty Minutes: Well, that's being pretty generous. My playoff boner went from solid to flaccid in much less time than that. In fact, I'd probably say it took ...