WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN:

First, let me just say how aware I am that I am falling precisely for this little turd's ultimate goal of helping him gather views on his shitty little Vikings fan freak out video here.  ...

Earlier this week, everyone's favorite Minnesota Vikings punter, Chris Kluwe, took a break from being TOO AWESOME and yet, somehow, got even awesomer by doing a guest appearance on Comedy ...

Well, it's no weekly game preview since we got kicked out of the playoffs thanks to Joe Webb's dynamic athleticism, but let's make due anyway. Here are some current Minnesota Vikings notes ...

I was sitting around last night fluffing myself, trying not to think about the Vikings before I lose my arousal, but then it was too late. I reflected on the 2012 season and found myself flaccid ...

The Vikings season is over, and despite our team not ending up winning the Super Bowl AGAIN, that doesn't mean that our season was a total loss. Each year we're left with games that dropped ...

In our continued review of the 2012 Minnesota Vikings, we pause today to take a look at the five WORST games of the season. Similar to what we did yesterday by looking at the five BEST games of ...

2012 was certainly a banner year for the Minnesota Vikings. A team projected to finish with roughly three wins blew their expected win total out of the water as they notched double digit 10 victories ...

Here's a futile exercise: Try to name something that Chris Kluwe sucks at doing. Besides tackling, I guess. And maybe throwing a football in a forward motion. And possibly his vertical leap. ...

Lauded sports journalist source, The Onion, has broken an exclusive story about one of the Minnesota Vikings - and the NFL's - most popular players, running back Adrian Peterson. In a ...

No, silly, not a DALLAS Cowboy (Although I wouldn't really mind if he was), I'm talking about a real Cowboy. A Western, gun totin', cowboy boot wearing, Django Unchained lookin', ...

Now that the 2012 season is over, the Minnesota Vikings and their fans have turned their attention to the 2013 NFL Draft. This week was the first step in that long process, as many college players ...

Hey guys, remember Toby Gerhart? You know, that white running back the Vikings have? He, uh, ran for 169 yards in 2012? 50 attempts? Um ... two "official" fumbles, but probably at least ...

Hurray, everyone! The NFL Pro Bowl is here! That means we ... Get to ... Uh, crap, what does this mean ... We get to watch practice, pretty much? Dudes playing touch football? Rich people enjoying ...

Literally RIGHT after I finished writing this blog post title, I thought to myself, "Wait, what the hell is Chris Kluwe doing in Hawaii during the Pro Bowl? He wasn't a Pro Bowl selection. ...

LOL, WUT. True story. Adrian Peterson loves orange peanuts, especially when they are for him. Then, he accepts you.  If any of that is confusing, then you need to watch the video ...

UPDATE: Breaking news says Donald Driver is actually retiring instead of signing with someone like the Vikings, which just makes the rest of the post even more ridiculous, so ... Enjoy that. Here's ...

Adrian Peterson is your 2012 NFL MVP, and dammit, I couldn't be prouder. You want to talk about how silly being a fan of the NFL (or anything, for that matter) is? As I sat and watched ...

Well this is awful. This was the early release version of the Adrian Peterson MVP shirt, apparently being sold on NFL.com or some garbage like that. As the individual most responsible for ...

UPDATE: These clearly aren't the new ones, but the Vikings HAVE announced that the new uniforms will be revealed on April 25, 2013. See our updated blog post for more details. ----- Haha! ...

Welcome to Fustian Fridays, a new feature on Purple Jesus Diaries during the offseason where we will rant about various topics of absurdity that have really been pissing us off to no extent. Come ...